Care/Concern
Care and concern mean love, it is a pure positive energy that helps in building and binding relationships. It is a feeling that results in helping and making the present situation better.
Worry is a negative energy. It completely drains out our mental strength and weakens us. The greatest way of depleting one’s mental power is by worrying, it is detrimental to the self. Worrying reduces our inner strength which we actually need to face the situation. It creates fear in us which is again a negative energy. When we worry about someone (which will 99% be our close relatives), we create 100… the number of thoughts that are imaginary, in fact, which is never going to happen. These thoughts get repeated continuously and we start living in this imaginary future. This creates fear within us and does not allow us to face reality with the right approach.
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Example:
A child (14 years old) goes to his friend’s house after informing his mother that he will return by 6.00 pm. It gets late. No phone calls. The mother, meanwhile, starts thinking:
- At 6:15 pm – it has been only 6:15, he must be playing.
- At 6:45 pm – What happened? let me call. Oh no, he is not picking up. What is he doing? He is too playful. When is he going to be responsible?
- At 7:15 pm – it is too late, where has he gone? He has taken his cycle, has he fallen down somewhere? Has something happened to him? Why is he not picking up my call? There is some underground construction work going on the road, has he fallen into it? He is already very weak, and he speaks very softly too, even if he shouts, no one would hear it… oh no, what has happened to my child? She walks halfway the way till the construction and finds that nothing has happened and returns home. Oh no, then something else must have happened… has he gone out somewhere with his friends, or have they met with an accident? His friend’s parents too act irresponsibly, is this the time to send children outside? Roads are not good and the traffic is worst….
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This thinking continues for an hour or so….
- At 8:30 pm – she calls up all other friends, neighbors, and family members asking about her child. She is totally blank, and does not know what to do… what will I do if something had happened to him? Is he lost? Has he been kidnapped? I can’t see him in a bad state. I can’t live without him, he is my life. What will I tell my husband and family? Why did I let him go?????… She starts feeling weak and shivers.
- At 9:00 pm – The hero (child) returns home. (Actually, he slept in his friend’s house, so was late).
The mother blasts at him. “Where have you been so long, can’t you just call and inform me that you’ll be late? Do you know how much I was worried about you? I feared that you were lost….
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Child: Ma, why are you worrying about me? I am completely fine; I just slept in his house. That is all.
Mother:(In a loud tone) what did you say? Why am I worried? I love you so much; I just cannot imagine you in a bad state (But what was she thinking so long?). You will not understand my feelings now, when you become a parent, then you will know what it is to worry for your loved ones.
The child simply walks past and goes to sleep. (The child learns that caring is worrying and it is good to worry.)
I think many of us must have undergone this situation at least once in our childhood and must be doing the same to our kids too.
The situation was, the child was late and there was no information from him. Yes, it is a matter of concern. But are these huge negative thoughts necessary? Is it good for the mother or the child? The mother could have called up other friends, gotten their phone numbers, and tried, or she could have gotten his friend’s parent’s phone numbers and tried reaching him. If nothing worked, she could have directly gone to the friend’s house. If we think of a positive approach there are many.
The thoughts that we create have huge effects. When we think something about someone, it reaches and may affect the concerned person. If our thoughts are strongly negative and the person is emotionally weak, there are a lot of chances of the person being affected by our thoughts.
Since we care for our loved ones, let us focus on creating good, pure positive thoughts for our loved ones. When we do so, first, we will remain stable within and this in turn will help us to ease the situation. When we think pure, good, and powerful about someone, there are a lot of chances that only good will happen to that person.
When we worry, we get disconnected from the present and move to an imaginary future and start living in it. Many people prefer to do this, as they are unable to meet the challenges of the present. This is a personality disorder and needs to be corrected. This state of mind, “worry”, causes “fear”. When we fear, we will not be able to give our 100%.
There is another belief among students that, “I cannot perform well if I don’t worry. I need to fear/ get tensed about my exams to feel the seriousness of it.” We need to check this belief. When I worry about my exams or any performance, I think, “I have my main exams from tomorrow, those marks are important for my college admissions, what if I lose it by a few marks? Others’ handwriting is better than mine, so I might go down in rank, what if I don’t get the group I want? How can I learn something am not interested in?…”
Will these thoughts help me in any way? They drain my mental strength and then I cannot give my best. They create fear and it will only push me down.
Instead, one positive approach- “I have my main exams tomorrow and I will do my best. I will work on my handwriting consciously and perform my best.”
A student, who worries and performs exams/events, will surely achieve much below her/ his capability. Then there will be a say, “See I knew I would score low marks”.
This is bound to happen. If we create negative thoughts and expect positive results, is it possible?
In the next post, I’ll tell you how our thoughts create our destiny…
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!
To be continued…